Divorce Coach | July Mother to Mother
Welcome everyone to Mother to Mother, where every month we talk to another mother who is a professional in one field related to motherhood. In our July Mother to Mother we get to talk to the amazing Sharri Freedman, certified trauma informed divorce and relationship coach who is working with moms all over the Greater Washington Area.
Can you tell us a little about yourself?
Hi, I am Sharri Freedman a sought after certified trauma informed divorce and relationship coach working with women across the United States and Canada. I practiced as a family law attorney for many years, am trained in mediation, collaborative process, and high conflict co-parenting. I combine my 30 years of experience as a divorce professional with my knowledge of the nervous system, trauma, and mindset, to help women end the cycle of indecision, worry, and fear and begin to trust, love, and believe in themselves again.
I have been married for 27 years and have 2 children ages 24 and 21. I love to read, travel, enjoy good food, and working out at home using the Peloton app.
What made you decide to become a divorce coach in the first place?
Before becoming a coach I practiced family law. As an attorney it was my job to educate, advise and fiercely advocate for my clients. I successfully litigated contentious custody and child support cases, as well as cases involving complex property and alimony issues, appearing before trial and appellate judges. When settlement was possible, I helped clients resolve their dispute out of court. But even when there was a “win”, no one really won.
Time and time again I witnessed the emotional and financial devastation a divorce can reap upon a family. Resentment, frustration, bitterness, fear lingered, and sometimes festered, long after the legal divorce ended. More often than not, the legal system could not address divorce & post divorce conflicts, leaving clients feeling more frustrated, hopeless and alone.
When I first became a certified divorce coach I knew that it was the missing piece for any woman because learning to focus on the business of divorce is so important and when you solely rely on your attorney you can quickly use your retainer for much need but non legal guidance.
And then I discovered Mind Magic®-and I knew it was what my clients needed to go from merely surviving to thriving regardless of their marital status. Mind Magic® in it’s most simplest form is the journey of becoming HER-the woman in your vision. The woman who lives life with ease, peace of mind and happiness.
What I did not know was I needed it too. This work is how you live the life you desire and deserve. This work has completely changed my life. It has allowed me to heal my little girl and in doing so become the woman I was always meant to be.
Tell us about your work with moms when dealing with divorce related issues or other things that come up when dealing with conflict, separation or divorce with parents.
A belief that often keeps moms stuck is “divorce will harm my kids”. Research shows conflict harms kids, not divorce. Staying in an unhappy or toxic relationship for the sake of the kids does not safeguard their well-being. I believe knowledge is power and I help my clients gather as much information and knowledge as they can so they can make confident decisions.
As moms we want to keep our kids safe and want to be in control of their well-being at all times. Learning to let go of what we can’t control is not always easy but essential in order to have peace and happiness. I provide practices and techniques that allow moms to choose where they want to place their focus and attention, to discover who they want to be, how they want to show up, and how not to get sucked into the “rabbit hole of hell”, and when they do find themselves there, how to get out.
I teach moms how to communicate using a system created by Bill Eddy called BIFF-brief, informative, firm, friendly. This works with any high conflict communication but is especially helpful in co-parenting situations.
As a certified mindset and energy coach I share somatic practices that allow moms to connect their mind, body and soul. Nervous system love (ie regulation) is essential. We are not meant to be in fight, flight, or freeze for long periods of time, yet many of my clients come to me stressed, overwhelmed, and scared. Positive affirmations will only get you so far. If your mind and body are not aligned, your body will win every time. Feeling our feelings, releasing, and then making new choices is how you go from suffering to inner freedom.
What’s your favorite part of what you do?
My favorite part of what I do is seeing my clients believe in themselves again, gain confidence, and truly love and accept themselves. It is beautiful to witness and I always feel like a proud parent. I keep a box of tissues on my desk because I usually cry tears of joy.
I also love that together with my clients we are breaking generational patterns of dysfunction. Feeling our feelings and being able to do so in a healthy manner is critical and when my clients learn to do this and then share it with their kids it is magical.
What’s the craziest part about your job?
Crazy in a good way is all of the wonderful and interesting people I have met since becoming an entrepreneur from all around the world that I would not have otherwise had the pleasure of meeting,
If you could impart one piece of wisdom to new or expectant moms, what would it be?
I see many relationships unravel when a new baby arrives. You are not superwoman (no one is) and no one wins an award for most stressed and overwhelmed. Ask for help. Prioritize rest. There are no “shoulds”, motherhood looks different for everyone so don’t “should” on yourself. Life goes by so quickly, try not to worry about what comes next, focus on where you are right now. Be where your feet are and enjoy every moment.
Thank you for sharing with us Sharri. I hope you have all enjoyed our July Mother to Mother series. If you would like to contact Sharri, here is how:
Facebook: sharriyourdivorcecoach
Instagram: yourdivorcecoach
FB Support Group: buildinganewnormal
Sharri Freedman. July Mother to Mother. Divorce Coach helping moms in the Greater Washington area.